Wedding registry tips and advice

If you want to start figuring out what you need to register think about them in different categories. If you already live together or have a lot of items you can upgrade the items to better quality ones that will last a few years.

  • Kitchen Electrics
  • Knives
  • Cookware
  • Bakeware
  • Kitchen Tools
  • Dinnerware
  • Fine China
  • Flatware
  • Glassware
  • Barware
  • Table Linens
  • Bedding
  • Bath
  • Decor
  • Outdoor
  • Travel
  • Other: Like items for camping, a bike, dog bed, etc.

TIP: Try to get solid timeless pieces that you can use for years to come. For example solid white plates instead of an abstract flower pattern will be always in style. You can add color and spunk with accessories, place-mats, napkin holders etc.

If you already have everything you need or want something pricey like a $4,000 couch, you can register for gift cards or honeymoon funding websites.

Yes, It’s tacky to ask for money. If you register for a limited amount of items, most people will give cash.

Chose 1-3 stores you like and has most of the items you have on your list. To avoid being overwhelmed, you can create registries online and then go in the store and double check the items and use the fun gun scanner to add to your list. Make sure you can return items within a reasonable time period.

TIP: Don’t just choose expensive items. Have a variety of prices, some low, mostly mid range price and a few high priced to fit every guest’s budget.

Traditional BestMan and Groomsmen duties

Best Man

  • Plan and host the bachelor party based on groom’s interests not yours and coordinate with the groomsmen.
  • Rent or purchase wedding attire that is pre-selected and go to groom’s fitting appointment.
  • Attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Arrange for transportation to ceremony for self and groom.
  • Arrange for transportation of the couple as well as self to the reception.
  • Arrives with the groom at least 1 hour before the ceremony and helps him out.
  • Helps keep the groom calm and make sure he eats.
  • Supervises groomsmen and ushers.
  • Troubleshoots issues without getting groom or bride involved.
  • Holds bride’s wedding ring if not being carried by the ring bearer.
  • Escorts the Maid (Matron) of Honor during the recessional.
  • Forwards vendor’s tips from the groom.
  • Stands to the right of the bride in the receiving line.
  • Makes toast at the reception.
  • Transports newlyweds to the honeymoon suite or airport after the reception.
  • Organize the return of any rented wedding attire for all men in the wedding.

Groomsmen and Ushers

  • Purchase or rent wedding attire chosen by bride and groom.
  • Assist in planning and financing the bachelor party.
  • Attend the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.
  • Arrive dressed at least 1 hour before the wedding.
  • Make sure that the Groom is calm and has something to eat.
  • Fold and distribute wedding programs. 
  • Ensure that all family members have corsages/boutonnières before being seated.
  • Seat guests as follows:
    • Single females are escorted on the right.
    • Escort the female of a couple on the right with her date walking behind.
    • Leave first few rows unseated to accommodate family members.
    • Seat the mother of the groom.
    • Seat the mother of the bride.
    • Roll out the aisle runner.
  • Light candles as needed.
  • Escort bridesmaids during the recessional.
  • Check for any items left by guests at the ceremony site.
  • Collect ceremony decorative items such as aisle runner, aisle decor, baskets.
  • Dance when music starts and ask other guests to dance.
  • Decorate the newlyweds car.
  • Help carry gifts to the assigned car towards the end of the reception
  • Assist the Bride’s family in any cleanup after the reception

Questions to ask your partner before you tie the knot

  1. Meaning of Your Marriage Commitment

    A. How do you describe what you are committed to being for the other because of being married?
    B. Of all of the persons in your life that you have met and could have married, why are you choosing your partner?
    C. What attracted you to your partner initially?

  1. Your Life Long Goals
    A. What do you hope to achieve in the near future and the distant future in terms of your career?
    B. How do you plan to care for your community alone or separately?
    C. Do you hope to leave a legacy after you die?
  1. Your Mutual Expectations
    A. What do you expect of a marital partner in terms of emotional support during exciting times, depressed times, periods of illness and job loss?
    B. Is it important that you set aside one night just to be together alone to catch up with each other and have fun?
    C. What size house is important and in what kind of neighborhood do you hope to live in both now and in the future?
    D. Are you both clear how much alone time the other needs?
    E. How much time does your partner need to spend with friends separately and together?
    F. Do you agree how much time is appropriate to give to work?
    G. Do you both expect to support the family financially and will that be different when kids arrive?
    H. Are you both comfortable with the salary differential between you?
    I. How will you deal with times when one or both of you has reached a midlife career point and you need to change some aspects about your life?
  1. Your Living Arrangements
    A. How do you plan to live together?
    B. Where will you live after the arrival of children?
    C. How do you determine if a new career path or job is reason enough to move?
    D. Do you hope to live in the same house or area for a long time?
    E. Will you need to be close to your parents either now or as they get older?
  1. Will you have children and if so how many?
    A. When do you plan to start a family?
    B. How far apart would you want your kids to be in age?
    C. Would abortion ever be acceptable before or after that?
    D. What kinds of philosophies did your parents have about child raising and do you agree or disagree?
    E. How do each of you intend to shape your children’s values
    F. What kinds of punishment are appropriate or not appropriate?
    G. What kinds of expectations do you each have about money spent on toys, clothes etc.
  1. Money
    A. Will you have separate or joint checking accounts or both?
    B. If you do have separate accounts, who will be responsible for which expenses?
    C. Who will pay the bills?
    D. Do you agree to have full financial disclosure about each of your own personal financial situation at all times?
    E. How will strong disagreements about spending money be resolved?
    F. Is there any debt that either partner has incurred before the marriage (ex. college or graduate school loans or credit card debt).
    G. What amount of available money does each of you need to have to feel comfortable?
    H. Will there be a savings plan for the first house?
    I. Do you plan to keep trading houses as you can afford it?
    J. How much credit card debt or home equity loan debt is acceptable?
    K. Agreement about taking care of financial needs of parents if likely?
    L. Do you plan to send your kids to private or parochial school?
    M. What will be the plans for children’s college education?
    N. When do you hope to begin savings for retirement?
    O. Will you use of a financial planner?
    P. How will the taxes be completed?
  1. Parents and In-laws
  2. How much time does each of you need to spend with your parents and how much do you expect your partner to join you?
    B. How do you plan to spend holidays?
    C. What will be the holiday expectations of each of your parents and how will you deal with those expectations?
    D. What kind of support do you expect from your partner when the parents are putting pressure on you?
    E. Is it ok for either of you to talk with parents about the problems of the relationship?
    F. What kind of relationship do you expect your kids to have with your parents?
    G. Do you expect that you will ever want a parent to live with the two of you when you grow old
  1. Gender Role Expectations
    A. What did your parents model for you in terms of who did what in the family?
    B. Did you feel that was fair and do you expect something different?
    C. Does each of you have some preferences that might be totally unrelated to gender?
    D. If both of you do not want to do something in terms of children, household or yard maintenance, how will you divvy up these responsibilities?
    E. Do both of you expect to work if you have children?
    F. When the children get sick, how do you decide who stays home with them?
  1. Do you agree on issues around erotic moments together?
    A. How often do you want to enjoy an intimate evening with each other?
    B. How do you intend to resolve differences in sexual preferences?
    C. Can you work out an agreement about how to deal with differences in sexual desire in terms of frequency?
    D. Are there certain things that are clearly off limits?
    E. Do you agree to talk about your sexual concerns at a time when you both are feeling creative and relaxed and not during sex?
  1. How will you resolve heated conflicts?
    A. How did your parents settle their differences? Or what are the tribal customs that may affect what you expect in terms of expressed anger?
    B. What feels comfortable to each of you, as your partner gets upset?
    C. Can either of you ask for a time out to calm down and be creative in your problem solving?
    D. What rituals will you develop to reach out to each other after a big fight?
  1. Spiritual Life
    A. What does spirituality mean to each of you?
    B. What kind of participation do you expect in each other in some form of spiritual community?
    C. How will you share what means something to you with them?
    D. Will your children be expected to attend any regular services or religious education?
    E. Will the children go through certain rituals like, baptism, christening, first communion, confirmation, bar or bat mitzvah?
  1. Agreement about extramarital relationships
    A. Do you want to establish from the beg inning that affairs are not an option?
    B. Do you agree that affairs of the heart are equal to a sexual affair?
    C. Will you talk to your partner about someone that you feel drawn to as a colleague or erotically since this can build the bond between you and your partner rather than the outside person?
    D. Will you commit to never talking to a person of the opposite sex (except a therapist or clergy) about your relationship with your partner since this builds a bond outside of your relationship?

Wedding day emergency kit essentials list

Emergency kit Essentials

  • Aspirin (or pain reliever of choice)
  • Band-Aids
  • Bottle of water
  • Chalk (to cover up any last minute smudges or smears on your wedding dress)
  • Clear nail polish (for stocking runs)
  • Corsage pins
  • Dental floss/toothpicks
  • Eye drops
  • Extra earring backs
  • Extra panty hose
  • Hair pins/ponytail holder
  • Hand towelettes
  • Hem tape
  • Matches
  • Mini sewing kit
  • Safety pins
  • Scotch tape
  • Small folding scissors
  • Smelling salts (while we don’t expect anyone to faint, it has been known to happen)
  • Spot remover
  • Static-cling spray
  • Straws (so the bride can stay hydrated without messing up her lipstick)
  • Tissues
  • Tweezers
  • Spare shoes

The matron or maid of honor should keep the following items on hand at all times in a small evening bag for the bride:

  • Breath mints/spray
  • Cellular phone and charger
  • Comb/brush
  • Cash (because you never know)
  • Hair spray
  • Linen handkerchief
  • Makeup (for touch-ups)
  • Mirror
  • Nail file
  • Perfume
  • Lipstick and concealer
  • Tampons/sanitary napkins
  • Granola bars or other easy-to-carry snacks
  • Krazy Glue (for nail fixes, shoe heels, decorations, even jewels)